Happy Chinese New year to everyone.. Gong Xi Gong Xi.. Long time didnt update my blog again..

So let me start with valentine day, this yr is the first time we celebrated together. Kelvin bought N73 hp for me as a Vday gift but i didnt buy anything for him as i had already bought whatever he needs so i dun know what to buy for him le. Maybe now im a grown up gal or feeling tired mentally, no longer fold heart or do Diy craft for bf. We had our dinner at Swensen. Initially everything is ok, but the waitress forget to key in our orders so in the end we waited for an hr plus for our main course to arrive. Can anyone imagine the kind of feelings that we are one of the earliest couples sitted at the restaurant and yet many other couples who came in later had been served with their food le. So after waiting an hr, i ask the waitress for the reason of the delay. To me, i dont feel anything but kelvin feel that im having attitude problem and start giving me his pattern. Today is Vday, and yet he cant give in to me as well. So in the end i cried abit as i recalled that i had been crying for all the special occassions that i loved in past one yr. Eg: Christmas, my birthday etc.

He saw my eyes are red with tears. To make thing worse, he said "stop crying or else im going to leave now and go home". I think this word totally smashed my heart into dunnoe how many billion pieces. This is the max i can take from him le. I dont want to make the scene at the restaurant, so i faster dry my tears and act nothing had happened and resume back with our dinner. I can look happy on the surface but i am very clear that my heart and my soul is totally drained out by him. Then i paid for the dinner and we just go home after that.

Alot of times i had thought of break up-, the only reason to stop me from break-up is his mom. His mom treat me quite gd, im like her daughter and i appreciate those kind of love from his family. I dont need him to give me expensive gifts. Whats the point of giving me a hp and ruin my valentine day with his words. I rather return him the gift. Things that can be bought by $$ cannot be compared to the loved i should be getting from my love one. But i seldom get those kind of loved feeling for this while. In fact, my heart feel so empty, no differences if im attached or single. I seen so many couples around him, all are holding hands and msm or call each other everyday..oli me is a special case, with no much progress for this while.

After all this while, i had hint to kelvin that i had reached my max limit, one more nonsense from him and i will just leave. I cant bear with his kind of attitude to me anymore, it just leave me feeling more sad and with less excuse to be with him anymore.

From Vday till now, we didnt have any major arguement, and he have shown me abit more concern.. but is all this abit too late? as i dont feel the sweetness from his action anymore... Even if he requested to sleep on the floor or if he wish me to go home, i wont refuse his request and i just do it.. All these changes in me had already let me realise that my love really start to reduce as each day passes.. I think he may feel that im start to change too as i no longer tag closely to him and no longer feel upset by things he done. If he didnt do anything to let my feeling for him to spark up again..i think what we need is one more agrument to walk our separate ways.

I think our main problem is communication. I dont really have alot of things in common.. We only talk about songs, feng shui and i think thats about all. I dont play the kind of games or sports he do and he dont tell me where he going, neither he tell me of his problem. It sound so ironic that i need to find out his problems or where he goes by contacting his friends or ask his parents.. What kind of relationship is this and how long it can continue.. i really dun have the ans for that. I may feel sad if we break-up after so long, but if we cant communicate and things just go like a cycle without any changes being done.. maybe this is the best option for both of us.